Attraction. It's something we all want more of in our lives, whether we're single or taken. We simply want to be wanted. At work, in the bedroom, socially — desirability is not overrated.
Endless makeover shows and popular monthly magazines capitalize on our insecurities around our personal attractiveness. As a result, we often feel publicly and internally polarized on the subject: "I'm too smart/savvy/empowered to bother with cultivating attraction. I'm more than a pretty face." OR "My aesthetic appeal consumes and defines me. I am addicted to the attention!"
Fortunately, there is a happy medium between complete indifference and superficial obsession. Investing in a mindful appearance and cultivating attraction is powerful, regardless of your relationship status. Studies prove time and again that we privilege attractive people — however, that doesn't mean you're screwed if you're not a model. Demonstrating care and thoughtfulness in the way you consistently construct and present your image resonates with your audience both personally and professionally. It's a tool for advancement, so ignore it at your own peril.
This year I've collaborated with several incredible, diverse dating coaches who are helping men and women find lasting partnerships — and they recognize that self-presentation plays a huge role in how and with whom they're able to spark initial attraction (and sustain it): The dynamic Sarah Jones, founder of Introverted Alpha, helps shy guys find love; Mike Goldstein, founder of EZ Dating Coaching, empowers women to attract the attention they deserve; and Esmée St. James, founder of The Dating Muse, coaches smart, serious men seeking a real connection.
Check out this video series I did with Mike, featuring conversations on how to create a fuss-free look, how to get a man to approach you, how to dress for a first date, and how sexy is too sexy.
I also recorded a video with Esmée St. James on how to use style to attract women.
What attracts us to to any given person is diverse and evolves over time — personality quirks, a particular body part, wit, even battle scars or shared experiences. There's no single formula for optimizing attraction. But mindful aesthetics and a commitment to projecting the best version of yourself does open relationship doors and serve as a bridge that allows all your invisible parts to earn their due respect.
Your image IS powerful. So work it.
What aspect of your appearance is your secret attraction tool? How have you consciously constructed an image that earns the work that you do the attention it deserves? What's your biggest challenge when it comes to image and dating/relationships? Tell me in the comments section.
p.s. Do you know someone who is single and seeking? Share this post with them and help them build the confidence they need to develop the relationship they desire. Sometimes a little "mental makeover" and physical refresh is all it takes!